Thursday, January 31, 2008
A BIG TASK FOR SMALL HANDS
Two weeks ago I joined an ad-hoc committee with some other physicians on our medical staff. We are organizing efforts to visit Legislative Day in Albany on March 4, 2008 to express our concerns about the medical malpractice crisis. Click here to survey national efforts, here to join our state and local efforts, and here to read my own (too) personal account. Thanks.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Aura and Mystique
I thought I was over him. Really done. Convinced myself it was a stupid infatuation. This was the news, the real deal breaker. Getting a 24 year old Brazilian girl pregnant...how could he?
In a jealous frenzy the likes of which I only vaguely remember from high school, college, OK medical school, too, I scrambled the internet for a cool 15 minutes, investigating the rumor, looking for reliable news sources, pictures, confirmation. These jealous frenzies are much easier now that there is an internet. In the past, confirming such infidelities required hours of sleuthing, sneaking, not to mention driving. And with each mile under my wheels, each sad song on the radio, my jealous anger would dissipate, undermining the power of a woman scorned.
And now it was happening again, every news clip, every glossy picture makes my heart melt and think how could I every begrudge, bemoan, besmirch or be over him?
Then, I found it, a journal entry, in his own handwriting, on the internet. He confirms it, a baby due in six months. Says he's "stoked and wowed." But just reading the words, seeing his face again, listening to the music he loves, understanding how he's gone on with his life and I with mine...I realize I'll probably never be over him. I can only be happy for him and remember the only advice he's ever really given me, "just keep living."
In a jealous frenzy the likes of which I only vaguely remember from high school, college, OK medical school, too, I scrambled the internet for a cool 15 minutes, investigating the rumor, looking for reliable news sources, pictures, confirmation. These jealous frenzies are much easier now that there is an internet. In the past, confirming such infidelities required hours of sleuthing, sneaking, not to mention driving. And with each mile under my wheels, each sad song on the radio, my jealous anger would dissipate, undermining the power of a woman scorned.
And now it was happening again, every news clip, every glossy picture makes my heart melt and think how could I every begrudge, bemoan, besmirch or be over him?
Then, I found it, a journal entry, in his own handwriting, on the internet. He confirms it, a baby due in six months. Says he's "stoked and wowed." But just reading the words, seeing his face again, listening to the music he loves, understanding how he's gone on with his life and I with mine...I realize I'll probably never be over him. I can only be happy for him and remember the only advice he's ever really given me, "just keep living."
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